Isn't it funny..

I find it rather amusing when you think you have everything all figured out one minute, then you turn around and everything is all jumbled again. That can pretty much explain what is going on for me right now! Although I am still really happy, things are just going through some unexpected changes.

The guy that I am currently with had seemed to be everything I had always wanted. And for the most part he is just that. He is the type of guy that I had always dreamed of being with. But what is funny is, is that now it is not what I want to have or end up with. Not trying to sound harsh, don't get me wrong he is a really great guy but I guess just not for me. I guess this could show the difference between fantasy and reality. What you have in your head or what could look the best on paper, may not be what is best or most compatible for you. I think our love may have just been mistaken for a common bond and a shared passion. I am not looking forward to hurting him or telling him that this isn't working, but it is something that has to be done. It is only what is fair for both of us. Also we have barely talked lately, so something is up on both sides of this equation. We are already three hours apart, so not talking much has damaged the relationship even more. No matter what happens with us I still wish him the best, and hope that his band have their big break from their new album.

It was also hard to really love someone else when my heart was somewhere else. I rushed into this relationship way too quickly after ending the previous one. I was not over the other guy by any means. But I had ended it with him because I knew that was what had to happen in order for him to realize what he was missing. And in that process I found someone else, and it wasn't fair for either of them. My heart has seemed to find its way back to the proper place and things are really looking up. The only downfall is that I hate having to hurt someone in order to make myself happy and do what is best for me. I just hope that everything will work out.

This is just a summary of the confusing situation that is going on with me right now!!